Just because we don’t share any DNA, does not mean they aren’t REAL family. Intentions, heart, and attitude have proven at times to be stronger than most I’ve known from people with whom I do share DNA. Following the suicide of my biological father - a man whom I adored and have only fond memories of, when I was five years old, I thought that my opportunity for having a dad was gone. But, a few years later my mom married a guy who has become a constant and loyal friend, protector, confidant and teacher. When I first learned that my mom was going to be remarrying, I was faced with a number of choices. What would I call him? Would he adopt me? Would I take his last name? It was a confusing time. But, even though I was only 8 or 9, he understood that I needed to make those choices and gave me every opportunity to work them out on my own. In the end, because my relationship with my biological father had been so strong, and the number of things I had left that had been his was few, I decided not to take my step dad's last name or be adopted. However, I did decide that what I would call him was “dad”... Not step-dad, just dad. (I also call his daughters my sisters. Although, we would all agree that we each thought of the other as an evil step-sister at times. I call his incredible mom my Grandma, etc.) He acted like a dad in every sense of the word. He helped provide for me, make sure I had clothes and food, and provide discipline when needed. He taught me to drive, slipped me money to go shopping with a friend without my mom knowing, and later when I was learning how to drink picked me up at 2 am on a couple of occasions without a word. He was tough but fair, reliable but a jokester. As time went on, my mother and I saw eye-to-eye less and less for a variety of reasons that I won’t go into. However, my dad was always there to lend an ear, offer insight, and provide the voice of reason in a way that I could hear. Today I do not speak with my mother, but do talk to my dad at least once a week. I will be forever grateful to the man who stepped in and how he helped shape my life into what it is today. He did not provide any DNA, but I know that his love for me is endless. Part of me believes that because I did not ever see him as a second-class parent the barriers to loving him were less. I was able to see his effort and appreciate them from the outset. Don’t get me wrong, he had his faults and made mistakes. His choices were confusing and hurt me more than once, but in the end, I know that his intention and heart were always thinking about what was in my best interest.
As a step-mom, I have always looked to that relationship and how he treated me as a guide to loving my own kiddos. Much like with my dad I do not call my step-kids anything other than “my kids“ even though they are quick to point out that I’m not their “real mom” to anyone who will listen. The sting of those words never goes away, no matter how many times I’ve heard it. I don’t have any desire to replace their mother or compete with her. But, from the beginning, I adored my kids and wanted to show them that another human in their life loved them. I often disagree with how we all co-parent, and from the start wished there had been more unity between the two houses instead of division and triangulation, but that wasn’t reality. It wasn’t fair to my husband to be the middleman, and it caused significant damage to our marriage. However, in the end, I know that much like my dad the title and name don’t matter. It’s the relationships that matter in the end. My intentions and heart are always thinking about what’s in the best interest of my kids and how I could help raise them into successful adults. When I think of the role my dad and kids have played in my life, I think that who I am and what I have learned from them have changed me for good. Xo, Michelle
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At the end of last September I planted beet seeds hoping to have beautiful beets to roast and enjoy. Unfortunately, those beets never came to fruition, instead what I got was beautiful green tops with absolutely no root end. You know what they say, when life gives you beet greens, make a tasty side dish! So, that is exactly what I did. These little guys have a flavor similar to swiss chard, but the stalks are super tender and thin. They have a red stem going up through beautiful dark leaves that give off that red juice when heated up. So, to keep the colors strong while making things tasty, I decided to blanch them first. Then, I upped the flavor with pantry staples. This particular night they became a side, but can easily become a main when coupled with a piping hot bowl of polenta. Because nothing says homey and delicious like polenta with greens. Ingredients2 bunches beet greens, washed and cut into about 1-2 inch pieces including the stems 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1/2 t red pepper flake 1/2 t balsamic vinegar glaze 4 slices bacon Directions
Red pepper gives it a bit of a spicy bite, so if you want to dial that back, feel free. In other news, looks like I will be planting beets again this fall because even if they flop, my family will still win in the dinner department. Xo, Michelle I love the taste of butter. It just has this amazing salty, slightly sweet, creamy way about it. It melts into my tastebuds like the grounds soaks up water after a rain. My love affair started at about age 10 when my Aunt Kimmy first introduced me. Before that, we had only had Country Crock in my house. I thought that butter always came in brown tubs. I literally had no idea that it didn't. It became my kryptonite. I wanted it on everything. Any time I get sick all I can think about is a delicious piece of toast with butter. Or noodles with butter. Oooh, or rice with butter and a splash of soy sauce. While others enjoy sweet treats, I tend to lean towards savory, salty, crunchy and creamy. Don't get me wrong, I like sugar just fine, but if given the choice between a dill pickle and a churro, I will pick the pickle any day of the week. We all have a guilty pleasure! I am grateful for my love of savory over sweet. Because of it, I tend to get far more fermented foods, nuts, but still consumed far too much of the high fat processed foods that are part of the everyday Western diet. Then, once adding into the equation I could not have gluten, my dietary habits changed significantly. No longer could I just eat what I had been.. every label had to be inspected for possible traces of gluten. And, the more I researched what the ingredients were, the more I learned how many trans-fats, added grams of sugar, and chemicals that I could not pronounce were in my foods. Even though I was feeling better overall, I was still not at optimal health. My body continued to have lots of inflammation and I caught almost every virus within the speed of light. My immune system was basically shot from nutritional deficiencies that come with having a damaged gut that cannot do its job, Fast forward to me starting my studies and the individual nutrients needed came into more focus. Even though I didn't really have a sweet tooth, my consumption of gluten free junk food was highlighted. At that point I realized that I needed to make more choices that had a fewer number of overall ingredients. Every bite I was taking had the ability to either make me feel better, or make me feel miserable. I was either fighting my disease and keeping it in remission, or feeding it. Every single bite was, and still is, a choice. Today, when I want something full of buttery goodness, I first reach for a handful of nuts to see if that satisfies my craving. When I want a sweet treat, I treat my body to fruit before I grab the chocolate. And, for every cup of coffee, I try to balance it out with at least one cup of water. I still love butter and salty, umami flavors, but strive for more of a balance diet. I might be a dietetics student, but we all have days where we falter and eat a giant plate of something that is "bad for us". The question is, are we conscious about these food choices, or are we on auto-pilot? Personally, I find that my awareness of my choices greatly influences my outcomes. Xo,
Michelle |
AuthorI'm Michelle, and I've got a full plate! As a full-time dietetics student, step-mom, wife, study coach, and tutor in my late 30's, some days I'm barely scraping by. But, no matter what is on my plate, it's always gluten free! Categories
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